I can’t believe I actually have a chance of getting him back.
It’s a natural impulse, so don’t feel bad if you are guilty of it. When someone you love pulls the rug out from under you and ends your relationship, many people’s first instinct is to do whatever they can to make that person stay. They beg, they plead, they promise to change, but all that does is push the person further away and cement the idea that they made the right decision in ending the relationship.
It may feel good to get all of your emotions out in the moment, but after you’ve sent the text, or your call have been ignored, you will feel awful and defeated. I’m really big into writing to get my feelings out.
After my breakup, I wrote probably hundreds of letters to my ex, spilling out how I felt and how all I wanted was for him to change his mind and take me back. But I never sent any of them.
I definitely advocate writing to get your feelings and anxieties out, but do not ever send it.
The majority of men tend to shy away from big emotions, and shut down when women react with a lot of feelings. Keep your eye on the prize. Take deep breaths and ask yourself what you will get out of asking him to just give you one more chance, or promising that you’ll change?
It looks desperate and makes your value go down in his eyes. Would you want to get back together with someone who begged and pleaded when you broke it off with them? Would that make you change your mind?
No, it would only make you realize that you deserve someone who values themselves as much as they value their relationship with you.
You should always strive to be an Ungettable Girl, but it is particularly important in the direct aftermath of the breakup. The way that you react when he ends the relationship sets the stage for everything that comes after.
You should be doing the same with your ex to remain in a place of power. Start thinking: what will his reaction be if I send this wall of text? What will he feel when he comes back to his phone after playing basketball with friends and sees that there are 25 missed calls from me?
It’s definitely going to color his view of you, and not in a positive way.
Before taking any action, start thinking about how that action would be received by your ex. Don’t do anything on impulse. Take deep breaths, go for a walk; do something that will calm you down and help you think clearly and rationally.
Then, once you feel more composed, reassess the situation with clearer eyes.
If your first impulse is to beg, it’s a huge sign that No Contact will likely be a very helpful tool for you. If you’ve spent time on the rhymes site, you know that No Contact works as a reset between you and your ex, and it’s important because it gives them the time and space needed to miss you, but it also is an important time for you to get back to a healthier mindset.
During No Contact, do things that will remind your ex why they fell for you in the first place. Make them regret leaving you by become the best version of yourself that you can be. This was what I focused on over the course of my breakup with my ex.
You can’t just count down the days until your first contact text. You have to take steps to better yourself and regain confidence over this time period.
Take this time to work on becoming an Ungettable Girl. Instead of asking them to take you back, show them why they should. We all become complacent in our relationships to an extent and stop trying.